Happy New Year my sweet followers! And also a “Happy Almost February” (time is flying at an unreal speed lately) I hope 2015 is treating you well thus far and that any and all of your resolutions or goals are still going strong!
I like to try to be conscious on a daily basis of what sorts of goals I am working towards. Usually they’re not big things – more like: “Go to the gym every evening this week” or “get to bed by 9:30pm tonight so that my 5am wake up isn’t so hard the next day” or “try to stop at just eating 1 sleeve of Thin Mints today”. You get it, right? But I save the big goals for God — what’s that saying…’you want to make God laugh? Just tell him what your plans are’. Something like that. And if you know me, planning is in my nature. But I have been trying for quite some time to just go to God in prayer and give over my need for control. I never knew what weight I was carrying by trying so hard to have my way until I really let go. Big and amazing things happen when you can cross that barrier of fear and say “God, I’m yours. You made me, You know me, You know what you’ve made me for and I want you to use me to further Your kingdom however you need me. I’ll go wherever you lead. Help my heart and eyes to be open to your guidance and discernment.”
There is a point to this 🙂 and it’s that God has picked up the pace big time this past year and I felt like my big leap came on the mission trip I took to Africa last Thanksgiving. It took me a little while to catch up, and get used to just how deeply He was working in my heart but something about being there made everything fall into place like I’d never felt before. Telling you that my heart has been absolutely broken for the needs of others is an understatement. If you’ve experienced that then you know what I’m saying. The part of me that could shut off my emotions when something/someone started to make me feel a little TOO much has been shattered. I can’t just say a prayer and hope for the best anymore. It feels like I have a permanent lens on my eyes now through which I see everything in a way I never had before.
I can’t cast aside the remnants of a glass of water on my nightstand that I deem “too dusty to drink because it sat there overnight” without thinking of the thousands of people who will die that day because they don’t have access to clean water. Or when I want to dump the pennies out into the trash that I found at the bottom of my handbag mixed with other purse shrapnel that I’m about to discard and am overcome with the reality that mere cents a day is the difference between a child going to sleep with a deep aching hunger in their little belly or he and his family getting food and healthcare.
All of these emotions are constantly swirling around like a giant storm inside of me.
It’s almost never comfortable, but I wouldn’t change it! I feel so alert, so alive, and eagerly anticipating whatever God will bring me to each day. One of the exciting opportunities that I felt called to do is apply to be a Christian humanitarian blogger with World Help I got accepted right before the holidays but have felt a little stage fright about jumping in and making a post. I didn’t know where to start. So this is it 🙂 this is me telling you my why and that I hope you’ll continue to read this little lifestyle blog of mine as I add some posts that explore topics and needs that all of us should pay a little more attention to.
Hope you are having a wonderful weekend!!